The night was cold....
The night was cold. What was she doing outside walking around in the middle of the night with only her pajamas and a thick coat she had managed to grab as her Phillip kicked her out of the house?! Why did her Phillip kick her out just because she didn’t want to be intimate with him? She found herself walking around the house and didn’t know where to go. It was cold, dark and she was scared.
How Ruth wished her family lived nearby. They lived hours away and there was no one that she could reach out to. Ruth didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t even think for herself anymore. She had become so insecure. Doubt and confusion always targeted her.
Some time later, Ruth saw Phillip turn on the porch light and opened the door letting her in.
As the weeks passed, Ruth screamed loud, but no one heard her, for her screams were on the inside. She desperately needed help, but didn’t know where to go or what to say. Was this normal? Maybe, she would make a fool out of herself for speaking out to her father. Perhaps, this mistreatment from the man she loved was something normal in all marriages. No, she couldn’t say anything.
Fear consumed her. She had lost touch with who she was as Ruth and as a daughter of the King. Ruth was losing her identity as she was sucked into a vicious cycle of mistreatment. Oh, how she tried to please Phillip. She tried to make him happy but nothing ever seemed to make an impact on his soul.
He was cold and cruel yet, he knew when to give her crumbs of his love to keep her close to him. At times, her vision of who God was seemed obscure by her pain. She wondered if God heard her cry, her scream for help. Would He ever rescue her from this life? Perhaps, God was
like Phillip. Maybe He didn’t love her either. Perhaps, He saw her as Phillip did, useless and worthless and if that was the case she didn’t know why she even existed.
Note from author:
It is never ok to accept abuse from someone you love. Reaching out for help will save you much pain. Find someone you can speak to.
The enemy will take advantage of your pain, hurt and situation. He will whisper words that you are worthless and useless. The enemy will bring confusion to your mind and will try to make you see God as cold and cruel to your pain.
God loves you. He made you with a greater purpose. Our Father is tender, compassionate and full of mercy. His love for us is beyond what we can comprehend.
Verses:
"Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness... " Nehemiah 9:19
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds..." Psalms 147:3
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should no perish but have eternal life." John 3:16