The Man With Curly Hair

It was a cold Fall day. Ruth had been serving in a women’s conference at the church. Laughter and fellowship filled the day at church. Ruth enjoyed to hear the ladies’ conversations and laughter as she served them coffee and desserts.

When the event was over, Phillip picked Ruth up as they were going to spend time at the city park. During the Fall season, the trees were beautiful. The leaves were like a painting that only God could create. The store owners in their little town of Lynden, adorned their store fronts with beautiful flower baskets. The city park was beautiful with flower baskets at every corner, near benches, and light posts.

Ruth sat in the car holding books that she had brought from church to read during the week. But as Ruth and Phillip started to talk, their conversation turned into an argument.

Phillip asked her to put the books down and to listen to him. She wasn’t reading the books, but was staring at them in hopes to remain calm. Holding the books made her feel safe in some odd way. She was scared of Phillip. When she would have arguments with him, she would get full anxiety. Her heart would beat wildly and she would feel weak in body. Ruth wished she could disappear but there was no where to hide.

When Ruth refused to put the books down, Phillip parked the car on the edge of the city park. He yanked the books out of her hand, and threw them to the floor. He reached out and yanked her hair. Phillip pulled her hair close to his face. He cursed her as he pushed her face to the window nearest her. His hand was open as he slapped her head over and over against the window.

Ruth cried and cried as a child. Phillip must have realized what he had done and tried to calm her down. He suggested they get off the car and walk a bit in the park.

Unbeknownst to her, a bystander had seen it all. The older man walked by them in the pathway. Ruth dared to look at him and tried to act like nothing had happened. The older man with curly hair stared straight into her eyes, as if pleading with her to ask for his help. He nodded his head as if he was sorry for what he had just witnessed and what had happened to her. She wouldn’t dare ask for help and she lowered her eyes to the ground.

When they arrived back home, she realized for the first time, that hurtful events with her Phillip were starting to feel normal and part of her day and life. She also knew that she would never forget the man with curly hair and the way he had looked at her. His stare reached her soul.

Note from author:

A victim of domestic violence can be surrounded by help and resources but she will not leave until she is ready. She entraps herself into believing that her love can change her husband or she can be consumed by fear instilled by him.

Ruth was always around people. She could’ve easily asked for help. She could have called her father but she never dared. She carried a hope that Phillip would change.

My advice: Never stay quiet. Things will not get better; though, I wish they would. Get help! You are valuable, Sister. I pray that if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, that protection will cover you and courage to find its way to you. Courage to seek help.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-877-799-SAFE