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The Church Day

Ruth was pregnant. This would be a wonderful blessing to her home. Phillip was happy and very excited to welcome an addition to the family. Ruth felt very proud and joyful in seeing Phillip this happy. She hadn’t felt like this in years. The last time she felt this giddy, was when she was courting Phillip and on her wedding day.

Ruth struggled to make Phillip proud of her through out her marriage, but giving him a son or a daughter would fulfill this great desire she had in her heart.

Phillip’s behavior towards her changed almost instantly. He became respectful and caring. He showered her with attention. Where had her Phillip been hiding all these years? Oh, how she had missed him!

Seven months had passed in Ruth's pregnancy, when Phillip and her, planned to attend a church event on the first weekend of Spring.

The weekend of the trip arrived and the morning was already warm, too warm for Spring. But regardless of the day’s warmness it would be a lovely day, where she would fellowship with her church family.

Ruth had started her day preparing for the trip as she hummed her favorite song, “Agnus Dei,” as she made coffee and a light breakfast for her and Phillip. She welcomed the warm sunshine and the gentle breeze that came in through her kitchen window and gently moved the lace curtains in a soft rhythm.

As she gathered her items for the trip and took a last look in her purse to make sure she had everything in order, Ruth noticed she couldn’t find the money that Philip had given her for the weekend trip. Instant fear gripped her heart at not knowing what Phillip would do or say. She searched everywhere possible. As the early morning progressed, Ruth knew she had to tell Phillip that she had lost the money. This was all the money they had set aside for this church trip.

She took every step with fear towards the kitchen where Phillip sat reading. As she told Phillip the situation, he arose angry. He started to raise his voice at her. Oh, how she hated when he yelled at her. She tried to hide somewhere inside of her. She tried to think of a memory or something where she could stay focused while he insulted her. It had been months since he had cursed or hit her.

As Phillip stood in front of her, he demanded an explanation regarding the lost money. Silence filled the air. Ruth couldn’t think or answer as anxiety took ahold of her heart. Minutes passed with no answer coming out of Ruth’s mouth. Phillip glared at her as if she was a nobody.

When she looked at him, Ruth saw his hand go into the air to strike her, she quickly covered her face, but when his hand made impact, he managed to hit her nose and blood instantly trickled down her mouth. He then took hold of her throat and pinned her against the wall of the kitchen. He yelled horrible names as Ruth screamed in fear and in anger at what he was doing to her. When he finally let go, he was able to see what his anger had done to Ruth. She stood there in the kitchen as a statue as he continued to lecture her in a lower voice.

When he was done speaking, she ran to her room and locked the door. She stayed in her room for hours, with the sunshine that came in through the blinds, as her only company.

“She was so stupid,” she told herself. She would come up with more ways to be more organized. She would strive harder to not make him this upset.

The next day, she found the money in her coat pocket; the light brown coat she had packed at the bottom of her traveling bag.

Note from author:

A victim of domestic violence can justify the abusive behavior from her partner. She will enter into a state of denial. She will beat herself up emotionally thinking his abusive behavior is all her fault. She will work harder to make him happy. Unfortunately, she will fail because she isn’t the problem. The problem lies in her abusive husband.

My sister, if you are reading this and you are going through the painful road of abuse, find help!

Don’t’ stay silent!

You are a treasure!

You, my sister, are worth so much!

I pray for your safety.

Love,

Cesiah

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