Rescue- Our Stories- Our Voices

My name is Cesiah Guerra. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I was raised in a very conservative home. Before my marriage, I had never seen abuse of any kind in my life. I waited and kept myself for the one Christian man God would send me to marry and start my family.

My childhood was a happy one. The only concern in my life then was to enjoy life. As you can see in the picture below.

As I look back to the courting years of my relationship, I ask myself what “red flags” I missed. If there had been any "red flags" would I have dismissed them?

Not knowing what signs to look for costed me eighteen years of hell. Years that changed me- stripped me from my identity and pushed me to suicidal ideations.

The first abusive incident caught me off guard not knowing how to react- His demeaning words rang in my ears. I remember crying-shocked- angry- and later forgiving him.

Unbeknownst to me, I had climbed into the vicious and painful road of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. This took me through very dark, painful days. Days filled with loneliness and hopelessness. With each incident came forgiveness- denial of the abuse. I loved him, I covered for him. In his moments of regrets for his actions, I’d grab onto hope that he’d change.

Many times, he’d play his game so well, that I was sure he had changed. My spirit would refresh itself in this deceiving change.

My view of God was not a good one, though I loved God very much. I was convinced He also saw me as my abuser did.

I felt stuck not knowing how to get out of this abusive relationship that had sucked life out of me. My soul screamed out for help, but no one could hear my voice. I was scared to speak out and break my family apart, so I silenced my cry for help.

But the day came when I could no longer hang on this marriage.

That sunny morning after he hurt me, weeks before I left, I locked myself in the room and knelt on the floor, asking God to rescue me, the room filled with His (God’s) presence. I could’ve stayed there resting in God forever.

The night he spat at me and said he hated me repeatedly was the last time he hurt me. He pulled my hair close to his face and repeated and repeated that he hated me. I was scared but my adrenaline was at its highest. In that moment, I started to tell him, “I know you do, I know you hate me.” He hurt my jaw-it was painful to open my mouth afterwards as my jaw would lock.

It would take days for everything to unravel and for help to come my way. But when help arrived- nothing stopped the truth from unraveling and for courage to take hold of me. God’s strength pulled me and my kids from a nightmare.

Four years later, I have found healing.

I founded Rescued for His Kingdom to speak for the many who are still in the painful road of domestic violence. Its existence is not to replace in any way the wonderful domestic violence programs in our community, but to speak out against domestic violence in churches. Domestic violence is not “God-approved.” Nor does He want His daughters to be hurt.

My life now belongs to God-to live out my calling.

God can take something painful, dark and hopeless, and turn it into something beautiful, powerful, full of life and hope.

If you’d like to empower a survivor through your story, please contact me.

Our voices empower and unite survivors of domestic violence. Your story can stay anonymous or you can share using your name with pictures. A disclosure form is needed in order to release your story through Rescued for His Kingdom.

Rescuedforhiskingdom.org