Emma's Story-Day 5- The Mask
As a newlywed wife, I didn’t have a job at the time. So I stayed home all day. I'd wake up at 4 am to make his burritos for lunch and they had to be made with freshly made tortillas (tortillas had to be perfectly round or else he would hit me with the rolling pin on my head, so I learned to cheat by using a dinner plate and cutting the pattern so that they were perfectly round). Which I never understood why since he usually came home for lunch around noon. Lunch had to be ready and hot for him when he walked in that door.
I tried my hardest to please him, but some days he would walk in late and well the food would get cold. His reaction was throwing the plate of food at me and then berating me. If he asked for a cold drink, it had to be ice cold. If he asked for a hot drink, it had to be steaming hot! It got to the point where I would stick his cold drinks in the freezer and just kept the stove on low so his hot drinks would stay steaming hot. I would go to our bedroom window and look down below so that I could see when he would pull up to the carport. Then I would run to the kitchen, stick his plate of food in the microwave, grab his drink from the freezer or stove and set them all on the table so when he walked in that front door it was waiting for him.
Granted sometimes I didn't’ quite get it all done in time so there was yelling, throwing things and pulling my hair.
Dinner time was the same, it had to be ready for him as soon as he was out of the shower after work. Which was hard to do because I was the one who bathed him, dried him off and clothed him. I think the only thing he did was comb his hair and brush his own teeth! He expected me to treat him as a king and I was his servant at his beck and call. The bath had to be the perfect temperature when he arrived home from work. Boy was that hard! Trying to time the water perfectly while I had to remove his work shoes, socks, clothing and then walk him to the bath!
Every time I failed I was either berated, flung things or beaten! I lived in terror all the time! At home he was a monster and in public he was the most loving and devoted husband.
I think people suspected something was happening, but no one ever said anything.
I did try and speak up one time. I thought I could trust the Pastor’s wife and I told her about my marriage. She went and told her husband and he called a meeting for us. In the meeting, I was questioned about what I had told the Pastor’s wife and even though I spoke the truth and I was in tears, I was told that I was making up horrible stories about a man of God!
I was shocked!
I remember leaving that meeting feeling defeated, trapped and scared! I knew I was going to get beaten for opening up my mouth or even killed!
Sure enough as soon as we walked into the apartment, he grabbed me by the hair and flung me against the wall. Started punching my breasts, my shoulders, kicking my thighs, and then kicked my back. See, when we returned from the honeymoon, he would never hit me in the face or arms where my bruises could be seen. He was very careful of where he would leave me bruises at. God forbid someone would see them!
About 2 months after the honeymoon, I found out I was pregnant. I told him I was late and he just got upset with me. I went to the doctor’s office and he confirmed that I was pregnant. I was excited although my baby had been conceived through rape by him. I remember going to my mom’s house and sharing the news with her since she lived right down the street from the clinic. Remember, I always had on my fake happy mask in public. My mom asked me to stay for dinner and told me to call him so he could pick me up from her house after work. Of course, I was nervous because I knew better than to stay there and not have dinner waiting for him when he arrived home. However, I thought maybe once I told him I was pregnant that he would change and things would be better for us. So I called him and asked him to pick me up from my mom’s house because I had some news to share with him. I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it, but he did. So when he arrived at my mom’s house to pick me up, my mom invited him in and we all sat around talking, laughing and having dinner. After dinner, I then showed him my positive pregnancy test from the doctor’s office. He acted shocked and yet happy!
Little did I know it was a front for my family’s eyes to see. When we arrived back at our apartment he said I was lying and that I made it all up and that I was not pregnant! He said the test was a fake! I was in shock! I couldn’t understand his mentality or way of thinking. I was already 2 months pregnant. I remember that he went into the bedroom and came back out with a belt. He was going to whip me for lying about being pregnant. I pleaded with him but I was still whipped. I was a grown 21 year old pregnant woman being whipped by my husband!