Emma's Story~ Day 4
We finally said our goodbyes to my mom and my siblings and headed on our way to the apartment where I would live with him. Upon arriving at the apartment, I was told to take everything off the car. So, there I was taking everything up two flights of stairs. I was tired and exhausted by the time I was done. He began to look through all my stuff that I had; clothing he disapproved he tore up with scissors and threw away. This was clothing that I wore throughout our dating and engagement stage. Mind you all my clothing was modest and decent. The church ministry I was in at the time only permitted us to wear dresses and skirts and all in modesty. None of my clothing was short, sleeveless or showed cleavage.
However, there he was cutting up my clothing and throwing it away. He went through all my books that I had and he let me keep the ones he approved of and threw the rest away. They were all Christian books except for my high school yearbook! He threw that away too because in his words “that is my past and I have a new life now with him.” I had photo albums and he threw those away. I had only one picture of my biological dad that my mom had given to me and he tore it up and threw it away because “he’s dead, what did I need it for anyway.”
Pictures that I had taken with high school friends, friends from church, family members and even my own mom and siblings he tore up and threw away.
It was clear that he was ridding me of my identity, I just didn’t know it at the time.
After going through all my belongings and getting rid of my “past life" he went on to tell me how I was to wear my hair, how I was to dress (he was going to buy me my new clothes he approved), how I was to clean the apartment (he used a white glove to check for dust), what time breakfast, lunch and dinner had to be, (not one minute before or after) how I needed to wait on him hand and foot (I would stand next to his chair until he finished eating. Sometimes I went without because he hated leftovers. If there were no leftovers, I didn't eat) and obey everything he say.
All I did was nod my head and just stare at him all the while thinking what did I get myself into?
Laundry was every other day and it had to be done by hand and on an old-fashioned washboard. Imagine how difficult that was for me! He worked in the landscaping business. Those grass stains were so difficult to remove!! I remember praying to God to help me remove those grass stains to avoid a beating. I had to mop the floors with a rag while on my hand and knees. I was not allowed to use a regular mop.
According to him, women in Oaxaca do it all the time and therefore so could I.